Farzana & Steven

GAYE HOLUD​

The gaye holud is one of those events that almost exclusively happens in Bengali ceremonies. 

 

Gaye holud translates to “yellowing of the body.” It is the equivalent of a bridal shower. Both the bride and groom have their own gaye holud on separate nights. But we will do ours together!

 

Brida/groom party go in procession to the bride's home. They carry with them the wedding outfit and jewelry, wedding decorations such as the turmeric pasteand henna  cosmetics, sweets and other gifts. 

 

I like to think of it as the bride being welcomed into the family. (The same happens for the groom, vice versa.) The groom’s family prepares baskets of gifts, and the bride and her family walk through an aisle of the groom’s family, who are bearing gifts. 

 

The bride is seated on a dais, and the henna is used to decorate her hands and feet. In front will be platters of sweets and a bowl of a turmeric paste (turmeric powder and water/milk). Each guest comes through and feeds the bride a bit of a sweet or fruit and puts a bit of the turmeric on his/her face. The turmeric paste is yellow. And this is where gaye holud comes from. Turmeric cleanses and softens the skin. The young women usually wear green, orange, yellow, or red for the gaye holud. 

Gifts are a big part of the gaye holud ceremony. Everything is packed in decorative cane or bamboo trays, baskets and supdas (also known as kula). For the bride’s ceremony, the groom’s family and vice versa usually brings the following:

 

Bridal outfit: the sari or lehenga to be worn for the wedding is usually given by the groom’s family. It is folded decoratively in a tray, sometimes wrapped around a doll. The shoes and bangles can also be given together with the outfit. 

 

Bridal trousseau: these may include several trays and baskets of items such as perfume, lotion, shampoo, spa items, makeup, hair accessories, etc.

 

Gifts for the bride’s side of the family: these may include outfits for the bride’s immediate family members such as parents, siblings, aunts and cousins. Often so many gifts are being given that it is not possible to wrap all items in trays and baskets. As a result, some are done as so for show and others are packed in a red suitcase which is sent over to the bride’s home beforehand. The red suitcase is a ceremonial symbol of marriage which is used to pack up the bride’s belongings when leaving her home for the groom.

 

Sweets: sweets are a must-have for gaye holud. These are a symbol of happiness and celebration as traditionally sweets are used to celebrate any occasion and used for “muk misti”, which means feeding sweets. The family members often choose to bring homemade traditional desserts known as pithe or pitha

 

Fruits: bringing fruits is also part of the tradition. Elaborate fruit baskets made from real fruits such as watermelons are a common practice.

 

Fish: Bangladesh is known for its rivers and streams which is why fish is a major part of the diet of Bengali people. As a result, giving fish to the bride’s family is a customary. Usually two large fishes are given – dressed as a wedding couple. One is wrapped in a sari or lehenga and may have a nose ring or earrings attached, representing the bride, while the other is wrapped in men’s clothing such as a Punjabi set or fotua and lungi, the traditional Bengali men’s attire, representing the groom. Nowadays, actual fish is usually replaced with sweets molded as fish.

 

Paan: Paan or betel leaf, which is a palate cleanser and a breath freshener, is offered by the groom’s family as a sign of hospitality. This is offered at the gaye holud to the bride’s family, which is served by the bride’s mother to everyone on the wedding day. It is served with supari (areca nut), chuun (a lime paste), and mukhwas (a mix of seeds, nuts and candies).

 

Hould, mehndi, upton paste: The groom’s family brings the Holud paste to apply on the bride in a decorative bowl or basket as well. The holud paste is a mixture of turmeric and either mustard oil, milk or water. Mehndi is also provided for decorating the bride’s hands and feet. Some women prefer not to apply the holud and therefore a substitute is used such as upton mix or sandalwood.

 

Rakhi: The groom’s mother brings a rakhi to tie on the bride’s wrist as a symbol of a new relationship formed.

 

Then everyone dances around the couple and mingles!